Today I had my first Dr's appt. for my pregnancy. I wasn't nervous, just wanted to finally see the growing baby in my tummy. But when the Nurse Practitioner was doing the exam, there was no baby! I am really sad that the baby didn't make it, but for some reason I wasn't completely shocked. I kind of had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, but only since Sunday. I would rather have a miscarriage early on than any later in the pregnancy. Plus, I feel comfort knowing things happen for a reason. Of course, I don't know the reason, but maybe in the next life, there will be an explanation. I was due Jan 5th and I was 10 weeks.
I had to get an ultrasound just to make sure that the Nurse didn't miss anything. Sure enough, there was no baby. It measured to be six weeks in size, but you can never know exactly when the fetus dies. And after it dies, it starts to shrink. So it could have been even last week that the fetus stopped developing. There was the sac though, and it looked as though my body will be able to take care of it naturally. I really hope it won't be too painful. I haven't started any bleeding yet, and that's what I think the Nurse was confused about the most. So I'm anticipating a few bad days this week and maybe even next week.
I'm grateful for Mark, a worthy priesthood holder, and the blessings he gives me to offer peace and comfort during a time like this. I know things will work out and that we will be able to get pregnant again later this year. When things like this happen, it makes me even more grateful for the healthy kids I already have and the wonderful blessing they are to me.